The Bachelorette Finale: Emily Picks A Baby DaddyJuly 23rd, 2012 | Posted by in Reality TV | Television
It was the finale we’ve all been waiting for because that’s what Chris Harrison primes us to think with his incessant ”most shocking,” “most controversial,” and “Gentlemen, it’s the final rose of the evening” talk.
We get it Harrison, it’s not shocking or controversial, but yes, this was indeed the final rose.
That meant that it was time to find out who gets to pay for little Ricki’s unavoidable future orthodontist bills.
And, the winner was… Jef with one F.
We don’t know if they’ll last, but don’t let that bother you Jef. If this whole thing doesn’t work out, we’re pretty sure you could be cast in the next Twilight film just based on your hair.
But, it wasn’t all smiles and happiness on the The Bachelorette finale.
There was some manufactured drams from Emily’s family when they couldn’t tell her which guy to pick.
We get it though–because they probably still feel guilty for liking Brad Womack, aka Texas’ Forrest Gump.
And, there was more drama when Emily did the right thing and kicked Arie to the curb before she let him make an ass of himself, ala that Ben dude who became The Bachelor.
But, not before the producers made Arie sit with a Curaçao local and concoct a “love potion” that he could rub on Emily.
That stuff totally works, right?
Arie, being the pretentious race-car driving ween that he is, rubbed his magic potion on Emily’s arm. And, Emily kicked him to the curb.
Then the fumes got to Arie and he kind of became a little bitch–crossing his arms and pouting like well, a little bitch.
There’s no doubt that this was when Emily realized she’d made the right choice, because if anyone was going to cross their arms and pout in her life, it’s little Ricki.
The evening ended with a montage of Emily and Jef all set to eveyone’s favorite 1980′s closed-lip singer–Peter Cetera.
And, we’d rather show you the original video for the song than The Bachelorette montage because we’ve seen enough of Emily’s veneers, and we’re kind of jealous of Jef’s hair.