It’s been 2 years since LOST  left many fans lost with its ending.

But, what would’ve happened if the Oceanic 6 (and everyone else who spent time on the island) never found their happy place?

We’re taking a look back at the actors who played our favorite characters, and we’ll take a guess as to what might have happened had they never left the island…or if they went back…or if some of them went back and some stayed on the island…or if that rabbit had any significance.

Jack Shephard (Matthew Fox)

Reality:  Matthew Fox has been on a real bender.  He was pulled over for a traffic violation in Bend, Oregon and then charged with DUI.

This came after he had a run in with a female bus driver and allegedly punched her in the groin.

Why is Matthew Fox on the Michelle Rodriguez road to self-destruction?  Maybe he needs to get back to the island.

Where’s Jack Today?  After saving the day and being left to die alone, Jack became the hero he’d always wanted to be.  Except that he didn’t die alone because Vincent came out of nowhere to lie down next to him.

So if Jack didn’t die alone, maybe he’s still alive.  So, what’s everyone’s favorite martyr up to?

After Vincent came over to lick his face and stuff, Jack decided to “F*ck medicine” (his words) and go into veterinary medicine.  Yes, it’s still medicine, but let’s cut the guy some slack since he’s been exposed to lots of electromagnetic radiation and drinking.

The new Animal Doctor opened up a practice in LA where he specializes in dogs, white rabbits, and the occasional polar bear.  While he still drinks the pain away, at least when his patients die, he doesn’t get sued.

Kate Austen (Evangeline Lilly)

Reality:  Evangeline Lilly is working on motherhood with her 1 year old son.

She is also working with Peter Jackson for his film adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit.

We think she’s a natural for this role since she dated fellow LOST alum Dominic Monaghan for years.  This is a true story.  No, we don’t understand it either.

Where’s Kate Today?  Torn between Island time and the alternate universe, Kate is Jack’s secretary at the vet clinic.  This is all good until Sawyer shows up one day with his pet chinchilla.

Sparks fly, and Sawyer gives Kate a real baby (wink, wink).  This does not jive with Juliet who was living with Sawyer.

Juliet enacts revenge by sleeping with Jack, so it’s basically like these three are back where they started.

There is only one solution here:  Move to a commune and just have an open marriage.

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes (Jorge Garcia)

 

Reality:  Garcia took a lesson from his LOST pal Charlie and got into the music biz…sort of.  Weezer named an album after him–well, they named it after his character, Hurley.  But he’s on the cover, we swear!

Garcia also took on a role in the FOX series Alcatraz and had a guest role on How I Met  Your Mother.

Where’s Hugo Today?

After many failed attempts at fad diets, Weight Watchers, and Jenny Craig, Hugo finally got serious when he sat on his pet hamster, “Dude.”

No, we don’t understand these characters’ fascination with rodents either, but let’s just blame the Island.

Sadly, Hugo didn’t realize that Dude was dead until he took his pants off to do laundry.  Amazing how a hamster can stick to denim.

A sad Hugo rushed Dude to Jack’s veterinary hospital, but it was too late.  Sawyer happened to be at the office when Hugo arrived (wink, wink), and proceeded to read Dude his last rites before flushing him down the staff restroom toilet.

James "Sawyer" Ford (Josh Holloway)

Reality:  Josh Holloway kept the acting going with a role in Mission Impossible 4:  Ghost Protocol.

It was a good movie, and we’re sorry his character didn’t live longer, but we imagine Josh just uses his time to read more books.

Where’s Sawyer Today?

While living with Juliet, Sawyer ran into Kate at a mutual friend’s book club.

Sawyer made advances, but Kate rebuffed saying that she was happy with Doctor Jack.

Sawyer insisted that she see his chinchilla, but Kate refused saying, “I’ve seen your chinchilla.  In fact, everyone saw you give me  your chinchilla in the cages of the Hydra station.”

“Freckles…,” Sawyer cried, “I just want to show you Freckles.”

Kate was disgusted.  “Freckles?  You call your little Tom Sawyer ‘Freckles’?”

“No, that’s my chinchilla’s name.”

Distraught, Sawyer went back home to Juliet.  But, the Island brought him back to Kate when his pet chinchilla caught the sniffles.

 John Locke (Terry O'Quinn)

Reality:  Terry O’Quinn continued using his experience as the bad-ass, good legs version of Locke when he landed a role as Commander Joe White on Hawaii 5-0.

Do you know who else is on Hawaii 5-0?  Daniel Dae Kim, aka Jin!

Coincidence that they reunite on a show that takes place on an island?

Where’s Locke Today?

Citing two good legs and the ability to twirl a knife like a baton, Locke took over Jack LaLanne’s fitness empire when the old guy met the great white light.

But, being the power-hungry bastard that he could be, Locke expanded the business and opened a new franchise…right next to Dr. Jack’s Veterinary clinic.

Coincidence?

Sayid Jarrah (Naveen Andrews)

Reality:  Shortly after LOST ended, Naveen became a naturalized U.S. citizen.

He’s currently working on Sky 1′s new fantasy series Sinbad which premieres in July.

Where’s Sayid Today?

That reunion with Shannon was no joke, but Sayid had some trouble losing all of his killer instincts.

Shortly after they reunited, hooked up, made up for lost time, etc., Sayid went on a bit of a rampage when one of Shannon’s high school boyfriends friended her on Facebook.

Sayid was not cool with this, but he never told Shannon.  He simply refused to “Like” the ex-boyfriend’s status updates and family photos.

So, what happened to the ex-boyfriend who was now married with three children and a pet ferret?

Let’s just say he was found in his closet mysteriously having died of self-asphyxiation.

Is Sayid a serial killer?  Nah, he’s just a jealous mofo who can fix a radio.

Jin-Soo Kwon (Daniel Dae Kim)

Reality:  Daniel Dae Kim didn’t skip a beat after having arguably the saddest death on LOST.

He picked up on the big island with Hawaii 5-0 and continues to speak English and solve mysteries.

Where’s Jin Today?

We were all impressed with how quickly Jin learned English on LOST.  But more impressive were Jin’s fishing skills.

Jin found fame and fortune on the Santa Monica pier while fishing with a net one afternoon.

Discovery was doing promotions for Deadliest Catch and saw Jin’s mad fishing skills.

They invited him to join the show, but he refused saying he had “bigger fish to fry.”  Yes, he learned that phrase while he mastered rudimentary English.

The execs at Discovery caved because they knew Jin’s rugged good looks and natural abilities would prove ratings gold to niche demographics.  He is now the host of Fishing, Jin Style on Discovery’s sister network, TLC.

Sun-Hwa Kwon (Yunjin Kim)

Reality:  Yunjin Kim is set to take on the worst characteristics of her LOST character Sun when she appears in the upcoming ABC series Mistresses.

Kim is will also appear in the Korean film Neighbor which began filming this spring.

Where’s Sun Today?

If Jin has a fishing show on TLC, then clearly he and Sun didn’t die in the submarine right?

Alternate universe?  Bad dream?  Just a cruel joke the writers played on us to see if men could cry?

Sun continues to be the good wife while Jin does promotional tours and signs copies of his DVD:  Fishing with Jin:  You Can Do It!

She takes care of their daughter Ji Yeon and is also a teacher of English As A Second Language at Los Angeles Trade-Technical College.

Claire Littleton (Emile de Ravin)

Reality:  Emile de Ravin had no trouble staying busy after LOST.

She even co-starred with a mega-star from the Twilight saga when she played opposite Robert Pattinson in 2010′s Remember Me.

Where’s Claire Today?

Claire is living the life of an unwed mother with a best friend who really wants to be her baby daddy.

It’s like friends with benefits if by “benefits” you mean “free babysitting by Charlie.”

By this time, Claire has gotten her hair under control thanks to a strict regimen of Pantene Pro V and keratin treatments, and Charlie continues to pursue her with trinkets and baby toys made from tree limbs.

While Charlie continues to profess his love, Claire continues to lead him along because who doesn’t like a free babysitter?

Charlie Pace (Dominic Monaghan)

Reality:  Dominic Monaghan kept busy after he was written off in a very sad, wet death scene (not as sad as Jin and Sun’s sad, wet death scene, but…)

He appeared in several movies including X-Men Origins:  Wolverine, and also played a recurring role in the ABC series Flash Forward.

Where’s Charlie Today?

Nothing has really changed for Charlie.  He’s still living in the glow of his big hit “You All Everybody” which was actually his only hit.

A recent VH-1 Where Are They Now?, featured Driveshaft, labeling them as a one-hit wonder who copied their sound from Oasis.

Did they really copy Oasis?  The show’s host asked Oasis singer Liam Gallagher who said, “F*ck Charlie Pace.  He’s a Pace of Sh*t.”

Clearly, Liam has never needed a reliable babysitter at the last minute.

Ben Linus (Michael Emerson)

 

Reality:  Michael Emerson had no trouble getting work and landed a role on CBS’s Person of Interest.

When he’s not acting, he lives in Manhattan and walks his dog regularly through Hell’s Kitchen.  The leader of The Others does not need a dog walker.

Where’s Ben Today?

Still affected by the fact that he let his daughter get whacked in the Village of Others, Ben volunteers at a local youth shelter.

When he’s not being creepy and scaring soccer moms in the park, he enjoys crocheting, reading, and badminton.

He also gets invited to Dr. Jack’s Thanksgiving dinner every year, and doesn’t disappoint with his home made key lime pie.

Juliet Burke (Elizabeth Mitchell)

Reality:  Before LOST’s final season, Mitchell was cast as the lead on ABC’s now cancelled V.

After V, Mitchell took on a dramatic role next to Dane Cook in the film Answers to Nothing.

Yes, Dane Cook.  Yes, the movie tanked.

Where’s Juliet Today?

We feel bad for Juliet because she’s caught in that Jack/Kate/Sawyer love sandwich.  Except that she’s not in the sandwich as much as she’s holding it together.

After Sawyer slept with Kate, she slept with Jack for revenge.  But, she found that she liked Jack’s “tender” love making and preferred his beard over Sawyer’s flaxen locks hitting her in the face.

Ben continues to call her just to say “Hi,” but she’s blocked his number.  Still, Ben continues to stalk her Linked-In profile in hopes of connecting with her however he can.

Michael Dawson (Harold Perrineau)

 

Reality:  After being written off of LOST, brought back, then lost in the time warps again, Harold found work in films and still managed to complain about how he was written off of the show.

Hey Harold.  Listen, Michael wasn’t our favorite character, which means you’re a good actor.  You did your job.  We hate you.

You were to LOST what Joffrey is to Game of Thrones.  Accept it.

Where’s Michael Today?

Michael continues to try to connect with Walt, but Walt is a teenager now, and he’s in his rebellious stage.

Plus, everyone still hates Michael for killing Anna Lucia.

Sorry Michael, but life in 2012 still pretty much sucks for you.

Desmond Hume (Henry Ian Cusick)

 

Reality:  Henry Ian Cusick played fan favorite Desmond, and brother, we miss ya dearly.

Fans can find Cusick on ABC’s Scandal, and in the final season of FOX’s Fringe.

Where’s Desmond Today?

Desmond continues to represent true love with Penny.

Le sigh.

When he’s not writing poems to Penny or running stadium steps, Des reads to the elderly and grocery shops for the blind.

There is no better man than Desmond Hume, and we wish him the best.

Shannon Rutherford (Maggie Grace)

 

Reality:  Shannon may have died early on in LOST, but she had a great reunion with Sayid, and had an even better post-LOST movie career.

Grace landed roles next to box office stars Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz in Knight and Day, and also joined the cast of the blockbuster Twilight films.

Where’s Shannon Today?

Shannon and Sayid live in bliss and continue to give Des and Penny a run for their money in the love department.

These crazy kids enjoy spending time on Facebook (Shannon says Sayid loves her friends!), taking long walks on the beach, and making sushi.

 

Richard Alpert (Nestor Carbonell)

Reality:  Like his character on LOST, Nestor Carbonell has been able to reinvent himself on television with roles on Psych and Ringer.

And, you can catch him this summer in a little film called The Dark Knight Rises.

Where’s Richard Today?

Everyone’s favorite ageless wonder has started to age.  Having completed his Island duties, Richard was free to grow old and will probably die alone.

He occasionally visits fellow Island inhabitants, but spends most of his days indoors.

For centuries he didn’t have to worry about aging, so he didn’t worry about sunscreen.  Now, he’s hyper-sensitive to the sun and walks around with a an umbrella like Michael Jackson at a trial.

He is currently working on his own line of eyeliner for men.

 

Others of Interest:

Horace Goodspeed (Doug Hutchison), The Polar Bear (name unknown), and The Smoke Monster

Horace Goodspeed (Doug Hutchison):

Hutchison had a decent career before LOST.  He was in The Green Mile, and he also continued to have roles on television after his time on the island.

But what sets Hutchison apart from any of the other actors on the show is that he’s managed to make the biggest spectacle with his marriage to 16 year-old Courtney Stodden.

We don’t have to say anything about Courtney Stodden because we can show you her music video:

The Polar Bear (name unknown)

The Polar bear seen in Season 1 was discovered to have lived at the Hydra Station on the island.

We assume the polar bear has retired to live life in some cold climate, possibly spending its days lounging on a melting glacier.

What we hope is that the polar bear is not wearing roller skates in a Russian circus run by gypsies.

The Smoke Monster

Reality:  Post LOST, the Island being reset, Jacob, Locke, Jack, Hurley and everyone else battling it out, the Smoke Monster found its final resting place in a hard drive at the production company that edited LOST.

R.I.P Smoke Monster.  You’ve been archived in a Final Cut Pro sequence.

Where’s The Smoke Monster Today? After several call backs for the role of “Smoke Aberration that kills Renly Baratheon” on Game of Thrones, the Smoke Monster is temping and working on its first screenplay.

PREVIOUSLY ON LOST:

Seasons 1-6 recapped in 108 words.

The stars of LOST, before LOST.

Get filled in with LOST‘s Missing Pieces.