James Cameron Goes Balls To The Walls for Avatar FranchiseMay 9th, 2012 | Posted by in Featured Movies | Movies | Scoops
In a recent interview, James Cameron revealed to the New York times that he is in a monogamous relationship with the Avatar franchise, expressing his intentions for three or possibly four Avatar movies about our favorite blue creatures.
Four…wow, uhh…that’s a…lot.
In the interview, Cameron was quoted as saying:
I’m not interested in developing anything. I’m in the Avatar business. Period. That’s it. I’m making Avatar 2, Avatar 3, maybe Avatar 4, and I’m not going to produce other people’s movies for them. I’m not interested in taking scripts.
Hear that, amateur screenwriters? In case you dreamed of having a chance with him before, James Cameron is not interested now. But just so you know, you didn’t have a chance before.
Certainly, when James Cameron’s Avatar came out, the world was captivated. The complex story, still replete with all its beautiful simplicities, was the movie event of the year, perhaps even the decade. Restless movie-goers were eager for that blockbuster-boner, and James Cameron gave them a serious hard-on. I mean, just look at the run-down here: we’ve got blue alien-warriors, an all-star cast boasting names like Sigourney-F*cking-Weaver, Zoe Saldana, Sam Worthington and Michelle Rodriguez (what gun-wielding movie would be complete without her?), bone-shuddering action sequences, and love scenes for the ladies.
Avatar made 2009 the year of the nerd-alert 3D glasses, and that in no way upset me. Even as a sci-fi novice, I was pleasantly surprised at my unmitigated enjoyment of the first movie, and I could easily see myself squeezing into a turquoise pleather catsuit for the premier of the impending sequel and even rubbing my tail-queue fuzzy a little with the other Avatar fans out of pure excitement.
But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling a little conflicted here…no more Cameron movies? None? Only a blue Saldana riding around on a giant Mountain Banshee clicking her tongue in indecipherable Na’vi? I mean, that’s cool and all, but foreverrrrr?!
The projected date of the second movie isn’t until 2016 at the earliest; by the time this hypothetical fourth movie comes out, I’m going to surmise that I’ll either be knocked up or already have a brood of screaming young pups of my own, both scenarios which will preclude me from breaking out the pleather jumpsuit…And then I’ll be forced to bring either my pregnant belly in a sweatsuit or screaming children to see the movie, which will be unpleasant for all. It remains to be seen whether the sh*tload of money made for the first movie—$2,782,275,172 worldwide—can be topped when the first generation of fans start ruining things by taking their demon children with them.
And knowing movie technology, we’ll be watching the next hundred Avatar movies in 4D (and undoubtedly have a sensory overload seizure), or we’ll be Wonkavisioned inside the screen or something. This will be too much for my inevitably-creaky bones to endure.
Plus, call me a heretic, but I still stand by Titanic over Avatar any day. Jim’s steadfast devotion to his blue mistress means no more potential for another love story of a generation, no more Roses and Jacks, NO MORE STEAMY HAND-PRINT-ON-THE-WINDOW SEX. Alien sex is cool, but I think I want my kids to see the whole human-movie-sex thing first before graduating to alien-movie-sex, and now that’s all Cameron will have to offer us.
Not that repeat helpings of movies with aliens in them haven’t proven to be wildly successful in the past (Oh haiii Star Wars). But are we ready to compare Avatar to Star Wars? Is that even allowed?
But what do I know? I’m just a girl who saw Titanic when I was eight, fell in love with Leo and felt eternally indebted to James Cameron as a result. So perhaps this is my plea for Jim not to choose the blue.
What do you think? Are you ready to blast off to Pandora for an Avatar quatrology?