Madonna’s third single off of MDNA shows us that the Instagram look is not only fun for Facebook, but that it’s a miracle worker in making a 53-year old former teenage dream look like a Monet 30-something.

The video starts off strongly enough with a low-angle shot of a woman in stilettos walking through a revolving door.

Then we see it’s Madge, the song kicks in, and we miss the days of “Borderline.”

The song starts off well, and we’re wondering if this might be the big hit off of an album that’s already selling for less than a dollar on Amazon.com.

Not so much.  Turns out, the only reason we like the beginning of the song is because it sounds an awful lot like Flo Rida’s “Club Can’t Handle Me.”

Here’s how the song starts (Translation in parenthesis):

When the world starts to get you down (I’m depressed because I’m getting old, but I shouldn’t be because I’m filthy rich)

And nothing seems to go your way (My maid used the wrong type of Lysol wipes on the toilet of my London flat)

And the noise of the maddening crowd (I just HATE those people who pay obscene amounts of money to come to my concerts)

Makes you feel like you’re going to go insane (Insane because I can’t bend or dance like I did in 1989)

Four minutes into the song, I feel like her hit “Beautiful Stranger” and “Video Killed The Radio Star” had a one-night stand and produced this Chet Haze pre-spunk.

So, chances are you won’t be turning up the radio to hear “Turn Up The Radio”—mostly because radio stations won’t be playing this dribble.