**UPDATE** You can see highlights from the premiere episode here.

Get ready for some more of  Tom Bergeron’s stale jokes and Brooke Burke’s blank stares,America!

The cast for Season 14 of Dancing with the Stars has been revealed:

The Guys:

1) Jack Wagner, former soap star, Melrose Place alum, and singer…most famous for his hit 80s ballad, “All I Need.”  Wagner will be partnered with Anna Trebunskaya.

2) Donald Driver, Super Bowl champ and receiver for the Green Bay Packers.  Driver will be partnered with Peta Murgatroyd.

3) William Levy, who is known South of the border and also for being made fun of by The Soup.  His partner will be two time DWTS champion Cheryl Burke.

4) Gavin DeGraw, country singer who most recently made headlines after getting drunk and then getting his ass beat, but not for having some crap songs.  DeGraw will be dancing with Karina Smirnoff.

5) Roshon Fegan, Disney “star” and “producer” who is clearly here for corporate synergy.  Roshon will be partnered with Chelsie Hightower.

6) Jaleel White, aka Urkel.  We can guarantee he’ll be dressed as a nerd in at least one dance.  Urkel is paired with Kym Johnson and her twins.

The Ladies:

1) Gladys Knight, singer known as the “empress of soul.”  She’ll be dancing  with Tristan MacManus, who is still recovering from having had to dance with Nancy Grace last season.

2) Melissa Gilbert, of Little House on the Prairie fame.  Gilbert will be yelled at by Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

3) Sherri Shepherd, actress and co-host of The View.  Shepherd will be partnered with Maksim Chmerkovskiy’s less talented brother, Val.

4) Katherine Jenkins, who is apparently a star of the opera.  She’ll be dancing with Mark Ballas.

5) Martina Navratilova, kick-ass tennis pro and 9-time Wimbeldon champion.  Martina will be dancing with Tony Dovolani.  Let’s hope she fares better than Monica Seles.

6) Maria Menounos, TV host, and victim to the paparazzi’s continuous shutter.  Maria will be learning from three time DWTS champ,  Derek Hough.