This is not a recap. And it’s not a review. Think of it more like a refresher of last week’s episode before you watch this week’s episode.

“Let’s Boot and Rally” is the name of Episode 5 of True Blood’s Season 5. Here is a little run down of what went on.

Sookie is wasted – Poor Alcide. He finally gets to break off a piece of Sook and she pukes at his feet. Awesomely, Sookie is wasted pretty much the entire episode and it made me wish the writer’s would script a drinking problem for her so she could always be that fun.

Finally, Russell Edgington – After four episodes of alluding to the threat of him returning, it finally starts to sort of happen. Sookie uses her telepathic powers to un-glamour the construction worker who dug him up and carried him to parts unknown. Turns out, he’s recouping in a shitty hospital. Bill and Eric need to get him to the Authority like, yesterday, as they just have come to find out that their iStakes have been activated and will give them the true death at dawn if they don’t bring Russell in.

Tara and Jessica are BFFs for a hot sec – Tara is finally coming out of her woe-is-me funk and putting a little stank on it. She tarts herself up at Fangtasia and after Jess explains how actually-freaking-awesome it is to be young, forever, they start to bond. It was a friendship set up to fail, with newly minted fang-banger Hoyt hitting on Tara just before all this happens.  Tara initially rebuffs his advances but after realizing how awesomesauce it is to feed on a human, she reconsiders. That is, until Jess overhears and a vamp-girl fight ensues.

Someone is killing shifters – In episode 4, Sam discovers that someone has shot and killed two of his shifter friends. He tries to warn Luna but it is all for naught, as the shifter killer arrive (in Obama Halloween masks for some reason) and shoot both of them. Is this the end of Sam? Probably not.

Lafayette is freaking out – Lafay has a case of bad juju and it is really bringing him down. After almost killing Sookie by cutting her breaks, and almost killing patrons of Merlotte’s by spiking the gumbo with ammonia – his meltdown continues to epic proportions. He asks for help from his collection of religious figurines, only to have them come to life and taunt him. He begs the spirit of his dead boyfriend Jesus for help only to wake up and find his disembodied head with its mouth sewn shut on the dresser.

The Smoke Monster – What is this, LOST? Terry Bellefleur and his army friend confront their OTHER army friend about the mysterious fires that have been set to all of their houses. Turns out, when Terry & Co. massacred dozens of Iraqi civilians, one of them put a curse on them. A smoke monster curse.

So that’s what happened in Let’s Boot and Rally. What is on tap for next week?