This week, the internet and Twitterverse were buzzing when news broke that American Idol finalist Jermaine “The Gentle Giant” Jones had been removed from the competition.

So, how would the show deal with the situation?

Two words:  Ryan Seacrest.

Dressed in his best 3-piece suit and yellow pocket square (because yellow conveys peace and harmony), Seacrest started the broadcast with a giant star field projected behind him.

It would’ve been much cooler if there were X-Wing Fighters blowing stuff up behind him, but instead, we got this:

You know, throughout the years, this show has not been without its fair share of controversy.  And tonight…is no exception.

With the cooperation of law enforcement, we discovered information that left us with no choice but to eliminate one of our finalists from the competition.

When you’re doing a live show…anything can happen. 

THIS…is American Idol.

Whatever Seacrest.  The show has been live for weeks.  What about the 2 months before the live shows where you practically jumped up and asked Jermaine Jones to cradle you?

This was the week where the performers sang songs from the year in which they were born, and Seacrest showed photos of the judges as babies.  Then Randy turned it around and showed a picture of a baby Seacrest.  Not a cute kid.

The first to sing was P-Squared, Phillip Phillips.  As Phillips entered rehearsal with Jimmy Iovine and this week’s mentor, Will.i.am, he told them he was having surgery later in the day.  What?

P-Square gives it his best and Will.i.am was impressed with the fact that P-Squared showed up even though he needed to have a kidney stone removed.

His performance of The Black Crowes’ “Hard to Handle” was signature Phillip Phillips—solid.  And, he even wore a shirt with buttons, which is something that definitely takes him out of his comfort zone.

The judges are impressed that Phillips had surgery and still came out and got the audience moving.  There’s no way that Phillip Phillips goes home this week.

The first lady of the night was Jessica Sanchez.

Sanchez went with Gloria Estefan’s  “Turn the Beat Around” and Will.i.am was in love with her swagger.

In fact, he called her a “swaggernaut.”  “It’s like out of space swag.”  OK.

Sanchez, dressed like a disco ball and chandelier’s love child, screamed a bit.  But the girl performs like she’s been on tour with The Miami Sound Machine for years.

The judges weren’t happy with the song choice, but can we trust judges who dress like this?

Survey says:  Not really.

Heejun Han was next, and his choice was Richard Marx’s “Right Here Waiting,” a classic late 80s ballad.  Heejun tells Will.i.am and Jimmy that his accent affects his singing, and then asks Will.i.am for an autograph.

We like Heejun’s voice, but the accent is there, and can anyone really match Richard Marx’s charm with that mullet he had?

After the performance, Tyler is seen mumbling, “I’m worried,” and Randy says it was pitchy all over the place.

Heejun definitley struggled with the song, but chances are he’ll survive another week.

Elise Testone was next, and she took on Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together”

Testone was born in 1983, and this is a song from 1971, so clearly they’re very liberal with the category of “songs from the year you were born” on Idol.

Her rehearsal was strong and Testone  says that when she takes the stage, “people are gonna be making babies.”

Her performance added a pop feel to the R&B classic, and she actually pulled it off.  For the first time in weeks, dirty Ke$ha looked confident and clean.

Deandre “Vanilli” Brackensick  followed with “Endless Love,” which was originally a duet.  In rehearsal, he started with “Can You Feel The Love Tonight,” and Wil.i.am called out his song choice.

In the performance, Brackensick hit his falsetto, and the ladies swooned.

But, his performance with pitchy and reminded us of Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate.

Shannon McGrane, who was born in 1995, was next.  She started with No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak,” but not before Jimmy Iovine shilled the new wireless Beatbox Portable from Beats By Dr. Dre (which he owns).

Shannon ends up with “One Sweet Day” by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men as a meadow of wispy flowers was projected behind her.  Her performance was good, but she’s no Mariah Carey.

Baby Green Day Colton Dixon followed with 1991′s “Broken Heart” by White Lion.

We like that Colton Dixon picked a White Lion song because who doesn’t like White Lion?  Wait…no one.

But, “Broken Heart” is a song that no one knows and Will.i.am tells him that if he’s going to do an unknown song, he has to make it his own.

J-Lo says that Colton looks pretty when he sings, but Tyler says it was the wrong song for him.  Randy says the song didn’t matter because Colton “performed it dope.”  Word.

Erika Van Pelt, born in 1985, went with Bryan Adams’ “Heaven.”  Will.i.am says that she will be going home if she doesn’t execute.

She sang while a stairway to a white light was projected behind her.  A stairway to heaven, get it?  Because she’s singing “Heaven.”  Clever, Idol.  Clever.  Fire the person who came up with that idea.

Her vocals were good, but her phrasing on the melody was off.  Tyler tells her to stay with the melody, and J-Lo tells her that she didn’t like the arrangement.  Randy tops it off with:

Yo.  I kinda liked it.  For me it was like a nice 8 out of 10…
Just be careful not to make too much out of a great classic song like that..
If it ain’t broke, why try and fix it with some weird catchy, jerky arrangement?…
Aww you know?  You feel me, you feel me.

Thank you, Shakespeare Jackson.

Drama Time!

Finally, they explain why The Gentle Giant was eliminated.

Cut To:  The producers having a meeting with Jermaine Jones.

Executive Producer Nigel Lythgoe runs through Jermaine’s rap sheet on camera.  Amazing.

Jones denies that he got in a fight, all while fighting back tears.

And, Jones is booted because he has FOUR OUTSTANDING WARRANTS.  Peace out, Jermaine—stay classy, you crying giant.

Moving On…

Baby Reba McEntire, Skylar Laine was next with 1994′s “Love Sneakin’ Up on You” by Bonnie Raitt.

Will.i.am and Jimmy Iovine wanted a different song for her, but she stuck to her guns.

In the end, the performance was typical Skylar, and the judges loved it.

Joshua Ledet followed, but not before Ryan had a giant tub of crawfish brought out on stage.  Then, he asked Joshua to show 4 girls from the audience how to suck the head out of a crawfish.

This is PETA’s worst nightmare.

Joshua sang Michael Bolton’s 1982 version of  “When a Man Loves a Woman” and Will.i.am says he felt the pain in his singing.

We think that’s good.

Joshua has the best performance of the night and gets a standing ovation before he’s even done.  J-Lo says it’s the best performance she’s ever seen on Idol.  Tyler says there are no words, and Randy says that Joshua blew it out the box.  They are all correct:

Fortunately for Hollie Cavanagh, there was a commercial break before she had to take the stage.

Hollie was born in 1993, and her song was Celine Dion’s “The Power of Love.”  After her performance, we finally don’t hate a Celine Dion song.  But we still like Huey Lewis’ “Power of Love” more.

The judges love her performance and say that she and Joshua were the best of the night.

Elimination night started with a dramatic montage of the contestants set to dramatic Game of Thrones type music. 

Drama.

Tonight.

On Idol.

The montage states, in big letters:

ONE DREAM WILL END.

Yawn.

Somewhere along the way, someone told Randy Jackson that wearing a brooch was the hip thing.  Randy, you should never listen to that person. Ever.

Ironically, Tommy Hilfiger is next saying that he will be the image adviser for the American Idol contestants.  He should talk to Randy too.  Hilfiger joins the fray with the next set of shows.

Seacrest then reveals that after tonight, the Top 10 will be traveling on the Idol summer tour, and that the judges have the ability to save one contestant until the Top 5 are picked.

The first called up to hear their fate are:  Phillip Phillips, Elise Testone, Skylar Laine, and Joshua Ledet.

Jimmy says that from now on, he recommends all artists on his label, Interscope, eat crawfish before they perform because Ledet brought the house down.

Joshua, P-Squared, and Baby Reba make the Top 10, and Dirty Ke$ha is in the bottom 3.

Time Filler:
Demi Lovato performs “Give Your Heart a Break” and we’re more impressed with her hair than her performance.

The next group called to the stage were:  Colton Dixon, Vanilli Brackensick, Jessica Sanchez, and Shannon McGrane.
Jimmy feels that Vanilli didn’t deliver and could be in trouble because:

This isn’t T-Ball.  Not everyone gets a trophy and an orange slice.

We totally ♥ Jimmy.

And, Shannon is in the bottom three.

Time Filler/Shameless Plug Time:
Daughtry performs their new single “Outta My Head” and shows the singers how take command of the stage.

Erika, Heejun and Hollie are called to the stage next.

Jimmy says that Hollie performed great, even though they dressed her like an old lady (they did), and that Heejun needs to find some tempo.

As for Erika, Jimmy felt that she over sang even though he Randy disagrees.

And, Jimmy also calls Randy out for having a crap jacket.  Again, we majorly ♥ Jimmy.

Jimmy’s right again (not just about the jacket), and Erika is in the bottom three.  That means Heejun is also on the tour.

The bottom three are all girls, and the judges aren’t happy.

In the end, Erika is safe and going on tour, and Shannon McGrane gets to sing again for a chance to be saved.

But, she sings “One Sweet Day” again, and since the song is about missing someone who’s dead, the judges all agree to let their mourning of Shannon’s life on Idol begin.

Goodbye Shannon.  There was no way they were saving you with Phillip Phillips still in the race.

Next week the Idol contestants take on the music of Billy Joel.  This could be really good for some of them (Phillip Phillips, Colton Dixon), and really bad for some of them, (Heejun Hun…and, Heejun Hun).

Let’s hope Jermaine Jones isn’t continuing on his criminal rampage and going Billy Joel by driving into someone’s house.