Movie: Alex Cross
Rating:

What do you get when you cross Madea, Jack Shepherd from LOST, Dr. Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs and Christie Turlington’s husband Ed Burns? Besides a stomach ache, you get a big ol’ mess of a movie called Alex Cross.

Where to even begin? Well, Alex Cross is based on a novel by bestselling crime writer James Patterson. If the name Alex Cross sounded vaguely familiar to you, it is because Morgan Freeman has played him in two other movies – Kiss the Girls and Along Came a Spider. That is a tough act to follow and for the life of me, I cannot figure out why someone would cast Tyler Perry to take it over. Was Martin Lawrence not available? Perry should stick to dressing up like a sassy old fat lady and diving into his pool filled with money, Scrooge McDuck-style(which is how I am forced to imagine he spends his down time).

Speaking of unlikely casting decisions, Matthew Fox plays the mega-ripped, mega-nuts villain in this movie, looking like a mix between Ed Norton in American History X and Ed Norton in Fight Club. Again, why? I like Matthew Fox. I think he is a great actor and I can appreciate not wanting to be type cast as the “nice guy” but this doesn’t work for me.  No matter how many things he blows up, how many girls he tortures to death, how many taunting phone calls he makes begging to get caught – I keep wanting him to get on a plane and try to go back to the island.

Other than those two, the rest of it your standard over-the-top treatment of a gritty crime novel. It’s about what you would expect from the guy who directed The Fast and the Furious and xXx. The whole thing tries too hard and just watching the 2 minute preview was arduous.  Alex Cross comes out October 26 and…meh.